>iv>/div>On September 7, 2013, I had the incredible honor of officiating my best friend Tyler’s wedding and marrying him and his beautiful bride Steffinee. Though it was my first time serving as an officiant, Ty & Steff tasked me with putting together the whole ceremony (including writing their vows). Even so, I believe everything came out well.
Here is the video of the ceremony I put together (with the actual ceremony script I wrote below):
Opening Prayer
Let us pray.
In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Dear Lord, we thank you and praise you for this beautiful day, for your gift of life, and for the blessing of love and support from the friends and family whom you have gathered together in order to be witness to this holy union of Tyler & Steffinee. We ask for your blessing on this time of celebration such that our focus remain on the joining together of these two souls and the establishment of their new family in your kingdom.
It’s in your name, we pray, Amen.
Welcome
It is with great honor that I welcome you all here today. For those of you whom I haven’t met yet, my name is Omar Bravo and I have had the privilege of being one of Tyler’s best friends for the past 20 years.
“One of Tyler’s best friends for the past 20 years”… That, my friends, is what you call dedication! To be best friends with anyone for 20 years is quite a feat, but to be Tyler’s best friend for 20 years, that’s what you call hard work! 20 Tyler years is like 40 regular years. And yes, I do have stories… But, they will have to wait until the reception.
Fortunately for me, I was only “one” of Tyler’s best friends.
Best Friends
Knowing the kind of guy Tyler is, (and I’m not referring to him being goofy or aloof, but more so him being hyper-social), my guess is that there are a number of you here today who also consider yourselves “one of Tyler’s best friend”. As a matter of fact, can I get a show of hands? Raise your hand if you consider yourself one of Tyler’s best friends…
: Hands Raise :
Not bad, Tyler. That’s a lot of hands. But, of all the guys who raised their hands, have any of you been best friends with Tyler for more than 20 years? I’m not trying to pull rank here, but simply put things into perspective. I’ve known Tyler for a long time and as I’m sure you can imagine, a lot has both happened and changed over the last 20 years. For example, I knew Tyler before he fell in love with motorcycles. I knew Tyler before he fell in love with sushi. Heck, I knew Tyler before he fell in love with beer! But of most significance, I knew Tyler before he fell in love with Steffinee.
Having known Tyler for so long, I can say with supreme confidence that if you compare the “Tyler before Steffinee” and the “Tyler after Steffinee”, there is no contest which one is better. After 10 years of these two dating, I can’t even imagine Tyler without Steffinee. They truly embody the cliche of “You complete me”.
So Tyler – for this reason, it is my pleasure and the pleasure of all of your “other” best friends, to step aside and surrender the title and privilege of “best friend” to your now “ultimate” best friend Steffinee.
Stef – I promise he will be good to you always. He knows how to be a best friend and he has proven it time and time again. There is a whole army of men here who can vouch for that. So, you should expect nothing less than the absolute best from him at all times. And should he ever give you any trouble, I will be first in a very long line of his other best friends, ready, able, and willing to help him correct his behavior.
Now that it’s been stated publicly and on record that all of Tyler’s buddies are going to take a back seat to Steff, we can continue.
Couples
Now, I think it’s safe to say that anyone who has ever been in a relationship can attest to the fact that maintaining a relationship takes constant effort. Managing expectations, fulfilling promises, remembering to put the toilet seat down, knowing what you did wrong without her having to tell you… All of this is incredibly hard work. Unfortunately, though many of us are willing start relationships, many of us are not willing to keep these relationships going. Even so, not all hope is lost as there are still many, many couples who continue to fight the good fight that is marriage.
It has been said that “it takes a village to raise a child”. In that same spirit, I believe it also true that it takes community of strong families and couples to support a healthy marriage. So, as a testimony of hard work and dedication meant to serve as encouragement for Tyler & Stef as they begin the next phase of their journey, I would like to invite all of the married couples to raise their hands.
: Hands Raise :
Tyler & Steff – When hard times come, as they most certainly will, I encourage you to remember this picture of raised hands and know that you have a deep sea of loved ones who have fought and continue to fight for strong and healthy marriages. This is proof that it can be done and that it is worth it.
Just for kicks, lets do a quick poll: If you’ve been married for more than 5 Years, keep your hands up, everyone else put your hands down. If you’ve been married for more than 10 Years, keep your hands up, everyone else put your hands down. 15 Years? 20 Years? 25 Years? etc.
Let’s give these folks a round of applause for being such a great example.
When you find yourself needing advice, these are the folks you go to.
At this time, we’d like to take a moment to remember Steff’s Grandpa Robert, who was married to her Grandma Connie for 42 years before his passing, along with Tyler’s Grandpa Jake who was married to his Grandma Joanne for 64 years before his passing. Though these two great men aren’t physically with us today, we still have their brides and we are confident that they are with us in both memory and spirit for with momentous occasion.
Joining of Hands
I’d now like to invite Tyler & Steff up for the Joining of Hands.
I also invite all of the couples to grab tightly the hand of your partner.
: Tyler and Steff stand and move to the center of the stage :
Tyler’s Hands
Steffinee, please face Tyler, and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.
These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams.
These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within you.
These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.
These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family.
These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wrack your mind.
These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.
Stefinnee – These are the hands of your husband.
Stef’s Hands
Tyler, please hold Stef’s hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you. :
These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life.
These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go.
These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back in the evenings after you’ve both had a long hard day.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.
These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.
They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you are to have another child, that together you have created a new life.
These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams.
Tyler – These are the hands of your wife.
These four hands have the power to sow seeds of good and reap bountiful harvests of blessings. May they always be joined together.
The Charge
When Tyler & Steff asked me to marry them, the made it very clear that they weren’t overly religious people, but that they did have a very strong personal faith in God. I found this very important as my understanding of love cannot be separated from my understanding of God.
In 1 John 4:16, it states clearly that “God is Love” and in 1 Corinthians 13, love is defined as patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud and it does not dishonor others. Love is not self-seeking, nor easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Most importantly and above all things, Love Never Fails.
Now, I don’t about you, but this isn’t an accurate description of the “love” I see advertised on t.v. Patient & kind? Doesn’t envy, boast, or dishonor? Isn’t prideful and keeps no record of wrongs? The love described here isn’t a commercial type of love, it’s an unconditional love… Always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres… Not sometimes, not most of the time, but always. In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad, for as long as we both shall live, always.
Though some might be able to believe in love without believing in God, I have no doubt that this unconditional “agape” love is supernatural. And though we as humans regularly fail at showing this unconditional love to each other, we must understand that God is a God of 2nd and 3rd and 4th and 77th chances. And just as Jesus Christ demonstrated the ultimate sign of love by sacrificially giving his life on the cross so that both his friends and enemies might prosper alike,
I believe we are all called to extend this forgiving, unconditional, and supernatural love in our relationships with each other, with our family and friends, and even with our enemies. Not just now, but forever.
Pretty serious stuff, I know. But this is what Tyler and Stefinnee are committing to today, in front of God and Man. To love each other, sacrificially and unconditionally, forever.
But, before we get to their vows…
Blessing Blocks
As Tyler and Steffinee embark this next chapter of their relationship, there are many variables still undefined. Like clay in the hands of a potter or a block of wood in the hand of Christ the Carpenter, so too is their future, undefined, yet full of potential.
Will they have kids? Will they adopt? How many kids will they have? Will they change jobs? Or move?
Nobody knows. As such, it is even more important that we let Tyler and Steff know that regardless of the challenges they face or what obstacles they encounter, that they will always have our full support.
To show your support and blessing in a tangible way, each of you have been given an un-carved, unfinished block of wood which represents the potential of Tyler and Stefinee’s future together. In most of our hands, an unfinished block wouldn’t amount to much. But, in the hands of a skilled craftsmen, an unfinished block can be used to build almost anything. A house to raise a family in, a fence to protect them from intruders, a bridge to take them over obstacles, or perhaps even a boat for them to sail away… We don’t know what life holds for Tyler and Stefinnee, but I’m sure that you, like me, will them nothing but the best. Hopefully, you’ve had the chance to write your name on the block and perhaps decorate it with a message.
As it is our friends and family who lay the foundations of love and support in our lives, we would like to invite you each up to place your block on the table as symbol of your blessing and continued commitment to this union of Tyler and Steffinnee.
Tyler’s Vows
Tyler – Place the ring on Stef’s finger and repeat after me.
I, Tyler, take you Steffinee, to be my Wife, my Best Friend, and my Life Partner. As your husband, I promise to put you first, our family second, and myself last.
Just as God unconditionally loves his people, so too do I promise to love you, honor you, cherish you, and serve you all the days of my life. Though times may grow tough and our spirits may grow weary, I promise to trust God for the strength, love, and wisdom we need to persevere through all things.
I love you and with God and Man as my witness, I pledge to love you for all time.
Steff’s Vows
Steff – Place the ring on Tyler’s finger and repeat after me.
I, Steffinee, take you Tyler, to be my Husband, my Best Friend, and my Life Partner. As your wife, I promise to put you first, our family second, and myself last.
Just as God unconditionally loves his people, so too do I promise to love you, honor you, cherish you, and serve you all the days of my life. Though times may grow tough and our spirits may grow weary, I promise to trust God for the strength, love, and wisdom we need to persevere through all things.
I love you and with God and Man as my witness, I pledge to love you for all time.
And with that, Tyler, you may kiss your bride!
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my esteemed honor to present to you for the first time:
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