Before Bonnie and I got married (4/4/2009), we went to a few pre-marital counseling sessions at the direction of our church. One of our assignments was to individually write a list of “What We Expected of Our Spouse” and then share it during one of counseling sessions… Fortunately, everything matched up. :) Even so, we kept our lists of expectations and review it from time to time to keep us on track. For quick reference, I’m posting them here:
Bonnie’s Expecations of a Husband
- A man who seeks a personal relationship with God
- Loves and receives love freely
- Not afraid to cross gender roles … ie. clen the toilet, wash dishes, cook a meal, watch a girly movie
- Takes care of bugs, snakes, and rodents inside the house
- Keeps sacred his quiet time with God
- Affectionate, hugs, kisses, back massages, foot massages
- Regular physical intimacy
- Is by my side at a party, work or social gathering, especially at the beginning
- Mental and emotional awareness – talks about feelings
- Communication – Tells me when something is not as it could be, tells me when he’s upset
- Likes and makes time to travel
- Is capable of grocery shopping
- Holds my hand in public and private
- Makes time to sit and talk or walk and talk
- Has my best interest at hand and knows that I have his best interest at hand
- Makes important decisions with me
- Is a leader in most aspects of his life
- Tells me he loves me everyday
- Fixes broken items around the house and mows the lawn
- Challnges himself and me to be a better person
Omar’s Expectations of a Wife
- She must love Jesus above all things
- She must be passionate about her work
- She must think I’m hilarious
- She must love my family
- She must be adventurous in life
- She must be a risk taker
- She must be willing to confront issues head on
- She must be confident in herself
- She must be vulnerable with me
- She must be ok with my time on the computer
- She must not be materialistic
- She must not lose focus on God’s greater plan
- She must like back yard bbqs and cold beer
- She must give all people the benefit of the doubt
- She must want children (one day)
- She must love to travel
- She must completely disagree with pop culture
- She must be financially responsible
- She must live a healthy lifestyle (exercise / no drugs)
- She must always believe that the best is yet to come
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